They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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