That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
