well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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