I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
