What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
