I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
