she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
