Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
