Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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