Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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