Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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