WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
