your thong is hanging out like whoa
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
