oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
