i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My liver just had a heart attack.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
