im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the day after is always just damage control
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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