Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
