Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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