no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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