hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
