making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
