his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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