Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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