Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
