you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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