At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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