Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i want to swaddle you in tequila
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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