i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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