idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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