You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
