ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
