Kiss
Puke
what day is it and did you see me today?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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