so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
