i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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