Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
