didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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