So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
