i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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