I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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