In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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