Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
