i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
