i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
