David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
