Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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