Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
