i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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