It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
