Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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