At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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