i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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