I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
