i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
