There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have post one night stand depression
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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